Invasion
Skatergirl is at the rink. Again.
But, today is different.
Today, there’s a new skater at the rink.
She’s wearing her club jacket, black leggings and hot pink runners. Her hair is done up in a bun. Her aura is intimidating.
Skatergirl hasn’t ever seen her before, but she can already tell she’s good.
Skatergirl watches as the unknown skater struts into the rink, dragging her blue roller bag behind her.
A tall man, wearing a black suit and tie, follows right on her heels. His hair is gelled and he’s carrying a briefcase. He looks important. Famous.
To Skatergirl’s surprise, Skatercoach goes over and gives him a hug.
“FamousCoach. It’s been so long.”
Skatercoach chats with him for a bit, catching up on various topics, then she turns and waves at Skatergirl.
“Hey Skatergirl,” Skatercoach calls. “Come over here for a minute.”
Skatergirl timidly approaches Skatercoach.
“This is EliteAmelia,” Skatercoach says. “She’s going to be training here for the next couple of weeks. I hope the two of you can get along.”
“Um. Hi,” Skatergirl says.
EliteAmelia gives her a big smile. “As Skatercoach said, my name is EliteAmelia. I look forward to training with you for the next two weeks.”
Skatergirl smiles back. EliteAmelia isn’t as scary as she thought she would be.
EliteAmelia leaves her skate bag in the lobby and goes outside. She puts in her headphones and starts to do a dynamic warm up.
Sneaking Peeks
Skatergirl goes back to warming up, but can’t stop glancing at EliteAmelia out of the corner of her eye. She’s so put together. Everything about her oozes high level competitor.
Skatergirl puts on her skates and goes to wait by the boards for the ice resurface to finish.
A moment later, EliteAmelia joins her. She pulls out one of her earbuds and bounces up and down on her toes.
Skatergirl doesn’t know what to say, so the two of them stand in silence until the ice resurface finishes, then EliteAmelia opens the door and the two of them step onto the ice.
EliteAmelia carries her black tote bag across the rink with her and sets it on the boards next to her water bottle and guards, then she starts to stroke around the rink.
Skatergirl watches in awe. EliteAmelia is fast. Not just a little fast. Not just “pushing yourself during power class because your coach is yelling at you” fast. She is senior women, top at nationals, fast.
EliteAmelia’s coach walks around the edge of the rink and stands behind the boards next to EliteAmelia’s tote bag. He crosses his arms and watches as EliteAmelia warms up.
Skatergirl skates to the opposite side of the rink, away from FamousCoach, and places her water bottle and guards on the boards.
Comparisons Lead to Worry
She starts her warm up, then hesitates. She’s supposed to do a choctaw exercise Skatercoach gave her during her last lesson as part of her warm up, but she isn’t very good at it. What if she messes up? What if her turns aren’t good enough? Will she look stupid? Will EliteAmelia laugh at her? What about FamousCoach?
Skatergirl decides to skip the choctaw exercise and do something she’s more confident with.
Hopefully, Skatercoach won’t ask her if she practiced it.
She finishes doing her edges and does a backspin. Then, she starts to jump.
She skates around the edge of the rink and sets up for a waltz jump. She lands it and turns, just int time to see EliteAmelia land a flawless double axel.
Skatergirl stands there goggling at her. The double axel was massive. It was more than two feet high, and traveled the distance between the blue and red lines.
EliteAmelia holds her landing position for several seconds then steps out into a presentation. She skates over to FamousCoach for a moment, then she goes and prepares for her next jump.
Skatergirl tears her gaze away from EliteAmelia and goes to warm up the rest of her jumps, making sure to stick to the end of the rink farthest away from EliteAmelia and FamousCoach. It would be embarrassing if they saw her mess up.
Out of the corner of her eyes, Skatergirl watches EliteAmelia run through her jumps.
Triple salchow.
Triple toeloop.
Triple loop.
Triple flip
Triple lutz.
Triple lutz triple toeloop combination.
Triple flip triple toeloop combination.
Triple lutz half loop triple salchow combination.
Distractions
Skatergirl continues with her warm up. On the entrance to her jumps. On the exit of her jumps. Even in the middle of her jumps. She tracks where EliteAmelia is so she doesn’t get in her way.
Whenever EliteAmelie comes close to her, Skatergirl stops her entrance and gets out of her way.
Finally, Skatercoach takes Skatergirl for a lesson. “Are you all warmed up?” Skatercoach asks.
“I just started warming up double salchow?” Skatergirl says, grimacing.
“Double salchow?” Skatercoach asks. “It’s already been thirty minutes. What have you been doing this whole time?”
Skatergirl glances at EliteAmelia.
“Oh. I see,” Skatercoach says. “Don’t be intimidated by her. You have to focus on getting your own stuff done. As long as you’re doing something and not standing around in the middle of her pattern, you’ll be fine.”
Skatergirl nods. She understands, but EliteAmelia is still intimidating. She can’t concentrate. She’s worried about getting in EliteAmelia’s way.
The next morning when Skatergirl wakes up, she immediately starts worrying about training.
Will EliteAmelia get mad if she gets in her way? Will she hate her?
What if she messes up in front of FamousCoach? Will he laugh at her?
She’s distracted. Anxious.
She can’t focus on anything.
Finally, Skatermom can’t stand it anymore. She pulls out her phone and calls Mentalgamecoach.
Focus on what you can control
“Can you help Skatergirl?” Skatermom asks. “She’s driving me nuts.”
“Sure,” Mentalgamecoach says. “I’ll talk to her.”
Skatergirl tells Mentalgamecoach what’s going on.
“I see,” Mentalgamecoach says. “In this situation, what can you control? Can you control whether EliteAmelia gets angry at you?”
Skatergirl shakes her head. No, she can’t.
“Can you control if FamousCoach laughs at you?”
“No.”
“So, what can you control?”
“What I’m working on? What I’m doing on the ice?”
“Exactly.”
“But, it’s not like I’m trying to think about EliteAmelia and her coach. It just happens. I can’t control it.”
“Great!” Mentalgamecoach says. “It’s natural to have worries and distractions. Everyone has them. This is a great opportunity to practice dealing with distractions.”
“I want you to try this. Whenever you find yourself worrying about EliteAmelia or FamousCoach, gently bring your attention back to whatever you are supposed to be doing at the moment.
“Remember the word ‘gently.’ Being distracted is not a problem, but being frustrated about being distracted is.
“Gently re-focusing on what you are doing might not be easy at first, but the more you do it the easier it will get.”
“Ok,” Skatergirl says. “I’ll try it.”
Back in the Driver’s Seat
That afternoon, Skatergirl goes to the rink. When she gets there, EliteAmelia is already warming up.
EliteAmelia gives Skatergirl a wave and Skatergirl waves back, then the two of them go about their separate warm ups.
On the ice, Skatergirl is more productive than the day before. She is still intimidated by EliteAmelia and FamousCoach, but whenever she notices herself worrying she brings herself back to the task at hand. As a result, she is able to warm up all of her doubles before her lesson with Skatercoach.
After the session finished, Skatergirl also realized, that by being focused on her own work, she never had to worry about getting EliteAmelia’s way.
Be Like Skatergirl
Comparing yourself to others is a distraction that can cause worry, frustration and interrupt your practice routine or keep you from doing your best in competition.
Here are two things you can do to to stop comparing yourself to others:
- Increase your awareness of when your attention is not on what you are doing on the ice.
- Once you get good at #1, you are ready to then gently bring your attention back to what you are supposed to be doing.
Just like Skatergirl, mental skills training can make a difference for you. You can learn to skate more consistently during competition and from one day to the next in practice.
Why wait? Start now: Download “Confidence Myth Busters,” a complimentary eBook and make a change.