Handle Perfectionism in Figure Skating

The following question is from a concerned parent:

I have a 12 year old skater who is a perfectionist. This controls her whole life. In competition, if she falls on one jump, it is devastating to her and she can’t control her emotions. She shuts down and can’t compete or perform. She is a high achiever in school and first chair violin. Her coaches say she has the potential to reach Nationals in the future, but the biggest thing holding her back is her mindset.

She is so hard on herself. Nothing she does is ever good enough. There are many days in practice that she is in tears of frustration. I keep asking her if she wants to quit but she just gets more upset.

I have tried reading books to her, motivational quotes, journaling and even not allowing her to skate if she cries on the ice, but nothing works. I need advice.

— Sports Mom

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