Stop and Move on When You Are Frustrated

Falls and Frustration

Skatergirl is excited. Today, for the first time, Skatercoach granted her permission to practice her triple salchow on her own. Up to now she wasn’t allowed her to practice it by herself, but the jump is ready.

After her lesson, Skatergirl decides to do five more reps of her triple salchow.

She skates around the end of the rink and starts her entrance.

Mohawk. Back three turn. Change feet. Pop.

Ugh. Why can’t she do it now? It was fine when she was working on it with her coach.

Skatergirl takes a deep breath. Alright. This time she’s going to do it.

Mohwak. Back three turn. Change feet. Pop.

Why? Why can’t she do it?

Skatergirl claps her hands together to psych herself up.

You can do this. This time it’ll work.

Mohawk. Back three turn. Stop.

Argh.

LittleMilly, a little learn to skater, is doing her crossovers around the hockey circle, right where Skatergirl wants to jump.

Ok. I’ll jump on the other side of the rink.

Skatergirl shakes her arms to loosen them out, then goes into another attempt. She checks to make sure no one is in her way. All clear.

Mohawk. Back three turn. Change feet.

Skatergirl pulls in as hard as she can.

Fall.

Skatergirl slams into the ice right on her hip. Ouch.

She didn’t pop, but the jump was bad. She was off axis. Outside of her circle.

Heart thundering in her chest, Skatergirl gets up off the ice. She takes a deep breath, then shakes out her leg.

“Are you ok?” LittleMilly asks, looking at her with concern.

Skatergirl nods grimly. “I’m fine.”

Again. This time I’m going to do it.

She decided that she would do 5 more reps, and she is going to do them even if it kills her.

Pop. Pop. Pop.

The Zamboni doors open and the session ends.

Skatergirl gets off the ice and slumps down on the bench next to her bag.

Ugh. She wasted 30 minutes trying to do a triple salchow, and couldn’t do a single one. Why does this always happen to her? Why is she so bad at skating?

After practice, Skatergirl spends the afternoon relaxing.

She watches a movie. She goes shopping with her Mom. She meets up with friends on video chat.

Feeling Refreshed

The next day, feeling refreshed, Skatergirl goes to the rink. As soon as she arrives, LittleMilly runs up to her and gives her a hug. Both of them smile.

Skatergirl does her off ice warm up and puts on her skates. Then she gets on the ice and starts to run through her jumps.

“Make sure you do a few reps of your triple salchow before your lesson,” Skatercoach says.

“Ok,” Skatergirl says.

Skatergirl goes and does a double salchow, then she does several walkthroughs for the triple.

While she’s doing the walkthroughs, LittleMilly wobbles past, doing her program to Let it Go.

Skatergirl smiles. She’s absolutely adorable.

Skatergirl skates around the end of the rink and starts her entrance.

Mohawk. Back three turn. Change feet. Land.

“Nice,” Skatercoach shouts, and claps.

Skatergirl looks down at her landing. It’s was not fully rotated and she landed on two feet, but she stood up!

Skatergirl clenches her hand into a fist. She did it. It wasn’t perfect, but she stayed on her feet.

Action Plan

That evening, Skatergirl relays what happened to Mentalgamecoach.

“That’s great,” Mentalgamecoach says. “What do you think was the difference between yesterday and today? ”

“Well, today I wasn’t as frustrated,” Skatergirl said.

“Exactly,” Mentalgamecoach says. “When you’re frustrated, one thing that happens is that your muscles tense up. That throws off your timing and also makes it a lot harder for your body to execute the actions it needs to take.

“The other thing is that your focus tends to be on your thoughts (in your mind), not in your body. We call that overthinking. ”

“I see,” Skatergirl says.

“Does that mean that when I get frustrated I should just stop doing stuff for that day?”

“Well, you don’t have to stop for the whole day. Sometimes even taking a short break can help.

“If you notice yourself getting frustrated, maybe get a drink of water, or work on a different skill for a bit before going back to the initial skill.

“When you go back, if you still feel that same frustration, or notice your muscles are still tight, then leave for another day.

“Learn from this experience. Remember yesterday, you were frustrated and things didn’t work but today you were relaxed and ready and you jumped well.

“Yesterday and today, you were the same skater with the same jumping ability. The only difference was your frustration level. This was enough to affect your brain and your body’s ability to execute the jump.”

“Ok,” Skatergirl says. “I’ll try that tomorrow.”

Be Like Skatergirl

When things aren’t going well:

  1. Take a time out. Stop. Get a drink.
  2. Get some distance from the frustrating task. Literally, walk away for a change of scenery. Go to the boards or if it’s really bad, get off the ice for a minute and walk around.
  3. Breathe slowly all the way down to your belly, then push all the air out. Repeat 3 times.
  4. Then, work on a different or less frustrating skill. Something you’ve already mastered, or something that is challenging and absorbing, that you enjoy doing. You have lots of things that you need to work on, right?! (i.e. edges, spins, exercises)

The next time you find yourself frustrated with a jump or skill, do these steps 1-2-3-4. Let me know what happened in the comments. 

Just like with Skatergirl, mental skills training can help to keep your emotions on an even keel so that you can practice and compete your best. 

Start here; download “Confidence Myth Busters,” a complimentary eBook and make a change.