The gift of adversity
I hope you are thriving, or taking baby steps in that direction in this time of the unknown.
I’ve been checking in with my students all over the world. Most of their rinks are closed. The rest report their rinks will close soon. Just like you.
Before I give you a tip about tackling the unknown, I’d like to tell you a real story about a gift I received from this adversity.
I wish from this, you will gain a sense of hope. Maybe even jumpstart your motivation and take advantage of this opportunity to improve your skating. Yes, even now when the rinks are closed.
My gift was an “aha” moment learned from my students. Each one of them is unique, just like you. They range in age from 11 years old to Adult Skaters. They are at all developmental levels. From single jumps to elite competitors. Some have just started, some have been with me for years.
They live in many different countries, but are all united in this current experience. Just like you.
They are all motivated and dedicated. Just like you.
[By the way, I want to give them all (and their parents) high fives. You know who you are…]
In good times and in bad, they make time for meeting with me once a week, then take their “Action Plan” into practice with them on the ice.
Just like you, they have ups and downs. We sometimes talk about the same things over and over. Just like you, they wonder if they will ever overcome the _____________ (fill in the blank). Nerves, anxiety, sadness, low confidence, jump inconsistency, or worry they are not as good as Skaterperfect.
Loss of routines cause stress
This is a time of the unknown, and many readers have contacted me in confusion.
My rink is closed. I’m worried. I don’t know what to do.
Reasonable issues given the situation.
I fully expected to tackle these same issues with my students as one by one each faced rink and program closures. But to my surprise, each session was business as usual. There were no fires to put out. No tears. No what ifs…
Because of this attitude, everyone now has a plan that will keep them in good spirits and make the most of the situation at hand.
Many also chose to continue coaching sessions through the rink closures because they (and their parents) understand that this is the best time to get and keep their heads in the game.
Training mental skills improves certainty and control as others around you panic.
Lack of a mental skills foundation can lead to a lack of direction and prolonged confusion.
Will you start making time for mental training each week?
Mental skills training really works
Of course I know it works or I wouldn’t be a coach. What I want you to understand is that even in this unprecedented world wide change to life as we know it, these skills will be there for you. They go beyond just surviving a disappointing season or a terrible competition.
Many ICE students have dedicated more than 10 years to their sport. They are at levels where their efforts are about to manifest results. Just like you. A lost season or a cancelled international competition could be personally devastating. No one would blame anyone for having a tantrum or worse.
Bearing witness to their ability to confront the unknown with flexibility, optimism and grace is inspiring and motivating for me, and I hope for you too.
I want you to understand that there is no magic. These students were just like you in the beginning. Over time, the strategies they learned have become automatic through practice and repetition.
I want to give you this gift. This gift of certainty and hope. You can change. You are in control. You have a choice.
You know that when you practice your skating technique, your jumps become automatic, right?
Now you can rest assured that when you practice your mental skills strategies, they will become automatic. It’s the truth.
Get back on track
No matter where you are in the emotional cycle of dealing with the rinks closing, I encourage you to take a break (if you haven’t already done this).
Everyone can benefit from a break. Skaters, athletes, musicians, artists, parents, anyone and everyone. Rest and recovery will make your performance better when you finally get back on the ice.
- Use this time as an opportunity to have a complete physical and mental break from skating, worrying about work or whatever sport or specialty you come to this page for.
- If you can’t take a week off, take a long weekend. 3-4 days to do nothing.
For a skater or a parent who is used to having their days structured down to the minute, the change in routine caused by rink closures can be disorienting.
As my students learn early on, we all have a stress response of fight, flight or freeze. While we are in these states, we are not rational.
1. Allow your body and your nervous system to settle down (this might take days or more).
- Don’t make any big decisions right now.
- Don’t make huge changes in your life plan.
- Allow yourself to be emotional, to yell, rant, rave.
- Connect with friends and family, share your feelings with them, ask for help and support.
2. Start small.
Instead of immediately sitting down to write the book you’ve dreamed of, first choose a task that you can complete in a short amount of time.
Build your momentum back up with small successes. Something that shows concrete results in the end:
- Wash the dishes.
- Wash the clothes.
- Vacuum your room.
- Clean the toilet.
- Write a letter to a friend.
- Call a friend on the phone.
- Do free-writing 5-10 minutes each day
If you are like most skaters, you will be worried about taking time off.
- Make a deal with yourself. Remember this is only temporary.
- Schedule a start date and an end date for your vacation.
- Use your discipline to honor it.
This vacation is a “Time out” to “Regroup.” It’s the equivalent of taking a time out and taking 3 deep breaths on the ice before the next jump attempt after 2 falls.
After you have taken this step, you will be more ready to “Refocus” on the next right thing.
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Stuck at home? While the rinks are closed, use mental skills to keep you in training. Find out more about one-on-one coaching.